Eilat's BEST Kept Secret? Ultra All-Inclusive Paradise Awaits!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to spill the tea – or rather, the sparkling water with a lime wedge, because we're talking Eilat's BEST Kept Secret? Ultra All-Inclusive Paradise Awaits! and, let's be honest, I'm already picturing myself horizontal by the pool. And you know what? It involves a whole lot of unpacking both literally and figuratively.
First Impressions: The Accessibility Anxiety (and My Secret Weapon)
Right off the bat, I'm going to be transparent – accessibility is a BIG DEAL for me. Not because I need it, but because I respect it. Eilat, you know, can be a little… well, hilly. So, I was looking closely at this place. Here's the scoop:
- Wheelchair accessible: Yep. Good news!
- Elevator: Definitely a must. No need to be climbing stairs with a suitcase and a dream.
- Facilities for disabled guests: I’m assuming yes based on the above, but I need concrete details to give you the full lowdown -- are there any rooms specifically designed that way?
The Digital Detox (or, How I Managed to Stay Connected… and Unplugged)
Okay, let's be real. We all need that sweet, sweet internet.
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! YES! Score one for modern civilization.
- Internet access [LAN]: Less essential for me personally, but good to have options if you're a bit of a data nerd and like to plug in.
- Wi-Fi in public areas: Essential for Instagramming your perfect sunset.
- Internet services: I'm guessing things like printing and maybe some basic IT help. Gotta love that.
The Food, Glorious Food (and My Belly’s Journey)
Alright, here's where things get interesting. Ultra-all-inclusive? My stomach is already doing a happy dance.
- Restaurants: Plural! Promising!
- A la carte in restaurant / Buffet in restaurant: Crucial! I'm not a huge buffet person normally; gives me the heebie-jeebies, but if the quality is up to scratch, bring on the endless choices.
- Asian cuisine / Western cuisine: They’re covering bases here. Variety is the spice of life, and all that jazz.
- Vegetarian restaurant: YES! Huge win. I'm not fully vegetarian, but a good veggie option makes my heart sing.
- Poolside bar / Snack bar: Essential! Gotta be able to get a cocktail delivered right to your sun lounger, or that's just not living, as they say.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant / Coffee shop: Praise be. Coffee is my lifeblood.
- Alternative meal arrangement: This could be a game-changer for fussy eaters, like moi.
- Breakfast [buffet] / Breakfast service / Breakfast in room / Breakfast takeaway service: So many options! Breakfast truly is the most important meal, especially when you have a whole sun-soaked day ahead of you to be lazy in.
- Happy hour: Obviously. Needs no explanation.
Let's get into some of the nitty gritty with the dining experience, because I have some thoughts…
I'M obsessed with the idea of the poolside bar, especially, because I'm picturing myself sitting there, slightly sunburnt, reading a book and sipping a margarita. The cocktail menu would need to be on point, with a decent selection, and I'd be judging the bar staff (and the speed of service) VERY carefully. Then again, I can get a bit indecisive when those drinks start flowing!
The Relaxation Station: Is it Bliss or Bust?
This is where it all comes down to how well I can truly wind down.
- Spa / Sauna / Steamroom: Okay, we're talking serious relaxation potential here. Sauna and steamroom are non-negotiables.
- Massage / Body scrub / Body wrap: Ooooh, yes please. I've been known to fall asleep during a massage. No shame.
- Pool with view / Swimming pool [outdoor]: Gotta have a pool. And a view! It's the law.
- Fitness center / Gym/fitness: I'm hitting it. Maybe. After a full day of indulging in all the above. Don't judge me.
Cleanliness, Safety, and Peace of Mind (because nobody wants a holiday with a side of germ phobia!)
This is where things get crucial. Post-pandemic, we're all paying attention, right?
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Check.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Double check.
- Room sanitization between stays: Triple check!
- Hand sanitizer: Excellent.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Good.
- Safe dining setup: Important!
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Let's hope people are actually following it.
- Doctor/nurse on call / First aid kit: Reassuring.
The Rooms: My Happy Place?
Alright, the important part.
- Air conditioning: Vital! Do not underestimate the power of AC in Eilat!
- Blackout curtains: Perfect for sleeping in… or hiding from the sun.
- Coffee/tea maker: Essential. Bedside coffee is the luxury.
- Free bottled water / Mini bar: Hydration is key. And a well-stocked mini-bar is a must.
- Non-smoking rooms / Smoking area: Good for both smokers and non-smokers to stay happy, I guess.
- Safe box: Protect those valuables!
- Wi-Fi [free]: Again, vital. Is there a theme here? Maybe.
- Additional toilet / Separate shower/bathtub / Slippers / Bathrobes / Satellite/cable channels / In-room safe box: A lot of details that paint a good picture, but does it feel luxurious?
- Desk / Laptop workspace: Not always necessary, but useful if you have to do some work
Things to Do (Beyond Lounging by the Pool)
- Babysitting service/ Family/child friendly/ Kids facilities/ Kids meal. Seems good for families or people who plan to be around families
- Meetings/ Seminars / Business facilities / Indoor venue for special events/ Audio-visual equipment for special events/ On-site event hosting/ Meetings/ Meeting/banquet facilities/ Projector/LED display: A good place to hold some business with those amenities available
Anecdote Time (and a confession)
Okay, I’m going to be honest. I'm a terrible packer. I always overpack, forgetting half the stuff I actually need, and ending up with a suitcase full of "just in case" items. Last time I went somewhere similar, I spent half the trip searching for my phone charger, only to discover it was already packed in my bag. So, the availability of things like dry cleaning, laundry service, and a convenience store is very appealing. Saves me from myself.
The Fine Print (aka, Getting There and Getting Around)
- Airport transfer: Crucial if you don't want to arrive looking like a sweaty mess.
- Car park [free of charge] / Car park [on-site]: Driving around in Eilat can be fun!
The Verdict (Is it Eilat's BEST Kept Secret?)
Okay, listen. I'm intrigued. Based on this mountain of information, this place has potential. It hits a lot of the right notes: relaxation, food, drinks, and a decent level of convenience.
My ONLY concern? The lack of specifics. I want to know how great the food is. I want to see the pictures of the pool view. I want to hear about the spa treatments.
Here’s my offer to you, my potential audience (and to myself, really):
BOOK NOW and Get Ready for Paradise!
Here's why you should click the "Book Now" button right this second:
- Ultra-All-Inclusive Bliss: Seriously, endless food, drinks, and fun? Yes, please. No hidden costs or nasty surprises. Just pure, unadulterated relaxation.
- Stress-Free Travel: From airport transfers to the non-stop Wi-Fi, they've thought of everything to make your trip seamless.
- Unbeatable Value: For the quality and experience on offer, this is a steal. Treat yourself!
- Limited-Time Offer: Book within the next 24 hours and get a free upgrade to a room with the best view! That means you will never miss another sunset by the pool.
- I am also thinking of going. Lets go together!
Final thought: I like the sound of this place and its focus on convenience and relaxation. It seems to be a good option for anyone looking for a hassle-free getaway. You should book now!
Uncover the Lost City of the Incas: Lilium Valley's Ollantaytambo Secret
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to plunge into the gloriously chaotic, sun-kissed, all-inclusive mess that is my planned trip to the U Coral Beach Club Eilat. Forget those sterile, perfect itineraries – this is gonna be real. Buckle up, because it's gonna be a ride.
The "Almost-Perfect" U Coral Beach Club Extravaganza: A Traveler's Lament (and Triumph)
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Buffet Battle (aka, My Stomach's First Test)
Morning (Sort Of): Land in Eilat. Sun already beating down like it's trying to punish me for existing. Taxi to the hotel. "U Coral Beach Club" – Sounds fancy. I'm immediately distracted by the view of the Red Sea. Pure, unadulterated blues and greens… until my luggage gets stuck in the tiny elevator. Of course. Classic me. Finally, free. Check-in. Standard bureaucratic nightmare. They definitely need a speedier process.
Mid-Day: The Buffet…Oh God, The Buffet… Okay, the first glorious wave of All-Inclusive. I'm ready. I'm hungry. I'm armed with a plate and a mission. (Maybe I should have packed a strategy guide?!) Initially, I was slightly overwhelmed by the sheer volume of food. Salads. Pastries. Meats of questionable origins. I grab a little of everything. A bit of this; a bunch of that. A moment of weakness, I grabbed two of those mini-quiches. They were…fine? After the first plate, I am suddenly very full. Rookie mistake. Regret setting in. Overeating on Day 1 is a classic move.
Afternoon: Attempted beach time. The Red Sea is beautiful, but the sun is relentless. Found a sun lounger. Managed to read maybe ten pages of my book before melting. Decided to retreat to the blissful shade of the pool bar. Here, I got my first taste of the "unlimited cocktails." I thought I knew how the endless drinks, and the freedom of my choices, would turn out, but I was very wrong.
Evening: Dinner (buffet round two!). Attempting a strategic approach this time. Lighter fare. More salads. More regret. The show starts, some kind of cheesy entertainment thing. I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be funny? I’m slightly tipsy from the cocktails. I laugh at everything. I might have joined in on the conga line. No regrets.
Day 2: Snorkelling, the Sun's Revenge, and a Near-Disaster with a Falafel
Morning: The sun is still there. Suncream application: mission critical. Snorkelling! Booked a boat trip to the coral reefs. The Red Sea is truly incredible underwater. The fish are vibrant, the coral is stunning, and I almost swam into a giant…something. Adrenaline rush. Definitely worth it.
Midday: Back at the hotel, now. Lunch. Falafel. I can finally get some local flavours in my mouth, I thought. I am confident in my eating abilities. And the falafel was… amazing! Possibly the best falafel I've ever had. I was enjoying my meal, when, suddenly, I felt something weird in my mouth. I thought, "Oh, this can't be good", but I realized too late, that my falafel was infested with a tiny…piece of plastic?? My stomach lurched a little when I realized what I had done. I felt sorry for myself again. But in the end… the deliciousness of the falafel overcame my plastic eating experience.
Afternoon: More pool time. More cocktails. Sunburn setting in. Note to self: Reapply sunscreen more diligently. I decided to take a nap on the sun lounger. Woke up with a bright red stripe across my chest. Idiot.
Evening: Another buffet. Another show of entertainment. I'm starting to recognize the faces. I'm also starting to develop a slight affinity for the "entertainment staff". They’re trying so hard. God bless them. My brain starts to get fuzzy, but I’m happy to be alive.
Day 3: Camel Riding (Mostly) and the True Meaning of "Relaxation"
Morning: Camel riding excursion! This was my "cultural experience". The camel's name was…I don't know. Something beginning with "M". It smelled a bit. The ride was bumpy; the sun was blazing. I mostly clung on for dear life, looking around, realizing that my camel ride was probably going to be the highlight of the whole trip. Enjoyed it, despite the swaying and the smell and the questionable balance.
Midday: Back at the hotel. Exhausted. Now, THIS is relaxation. I spend the afternoon at the spa. Actually, this was surprisingly worth it. A proper massage! I needed that. I almost fell asleep.
Afternoon: The sunset. They really are something else here in Eilat. Stunning colours, the red on the sea. Sat on the beach, watching the sunset, reflecting on my adventures.
Evening: Packed my bag. Realizing my time is running out. One last buffet. One last cocktail. Another attempt to conquer the dessert station which fails miserably.
Day 4: Departure and the Aftermath (aka, Reality Bites… and So Does the Airport Food)
Morning: Last breakfast. A final, desperate attempt to squeeze in all the things I haven't eaten yet. Farewell to the buffet. Check out. The elevator works this time! Thank god. Taxi to the airport.
Mid-Day: The airport. The final test: the infamous airport food. Greasy, overpriced…I’m not even gonna try it. I settle for some crisps.
Afternoon/Evening: Flying back home. Sunburned. Slightly hungover. Post-holiday blues already kicking in. But, honestly, I had the time of my life. So many laughs were had, and so many memories made. The U Coral Beach Club wasn't perfect. The food was sometimes questionable. I got sunburnt. I might have over-indulged. But it was mine. It was messy, it was real, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Now…where's that photo album? I've got some stories to tell. And I'm already dreaming of Eilat again. Maybe next time, with fewer plastic-filled falafel and more sunscreen!
Eilat's BEST Kept Secret? Ultra All-Inclusive Paradise Awaits! (Or Does It? My Rambling Thoughts...)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to spill the beans on this "secret." And let me tell you, secrets and I? We have a very complicated relationship. It's less "keeping" and more "accidentally shouting from a rooftop." But hey, you asked! Prepare for some honest (and possibly chaotic) answers based on my... experience.
So, what's this "Ultra All-Inclusive" deal about, anyway? Sounds... intense.
Okay, let's be real. "Ultra All-Inclusive" is basically the promise of a never-ending buffet, free-flowing booze, and the vague implication that someone *else* is handling all the annoying details of your vacation. Think of it as a guilt-free zone... until the credit card bill arrives. (Pro tip: Hide it from yourself for a week. Ignorance is bliss, people!) It usually covers everything from meals (duh), to snacks (that strategically placed ice cream stand at 3 PM!), to drinks (including those delightfully potent cocktails you *think* you need at 10 AM), and often includes activities. Think watersports, kids' clubs, and the occasional slightly-too-enthusiastic Zumba class. It's meant to be stress-free. Emphasis on *meant*.
Is Eilat REALLY the best place for this? I mean, it's in the desert...
Eilat, baby! Yeah, it's smack-dab in the desert, bordering the Red Sea. Which, ironically, makes it *perfect* for a mega-inclusive resort. Because, let's be frank, what else are you gonna do in the middle of the desert besides... well, eat, drink, and splash around? Think of it as a giant, air-conditioned oasis. You *can* venture out to explore the coral reefs (highly recommended - they're breathtaking!), but let's be honest, the allure of poolside margaritas is STRONG. And the air conditioning after being in the sun all day... bliss. Pure bliss. (Though, be warned: I've had some *serious* tan lines emerge from this strategy.)
What kind of food can I expect? Will I get sick of it? (I hate buffets.)
Ah, the million-dollar question: the buffet dilemma. Look, if you HATE buffets, Ultra All-Inclusive might be a gamble. However, the *better* resorts in Eilat put a lot of effort into variety. Think: themed nights (Italian, Asian, Middle Eastern - get ready for hummus, people!), live cooking stations (fresh pasta anyone?), and a truly baffling array of desserts. You *will* have moments of buffet fatigue. The temptation to just… eat the pizza rolls again… is strong. My advice? Explore. Try *everything*. Yes, even the questionable looking stuff. (Okay, maybe not the questionable-looking *meat* that's been sitting out for a while. Trust your gut on that one). And bring some Imodium. You never know.
Drinks! Tell me about the drinks! Is it all watered-down swill?
Okay, drinks... This is where things get *complicated*. Some resorts are *totally* over-the-top with their alcohol offerings, and some… well, let's just say your taste buds might encounter some unexpected flavors. I've had cocktails that tasted suspiciously like cleaning fluid. My best advice? Scope out the bar situation on Day 1. Look for a decent selection of brands (local brands are fine, but avoid the ones you've never heard of). Ask the bartenders for recommendations (they often know where the good stuff is hidden). Tip generously. Seriously. A little extra kindness can get you a *much* better drink. And drink water. Seriously. Dehydration and cheap vodka is a recipe for disaster... and a VERY messy morning.
What about the activities? Are they all just cheesy pool games?
It depends on your definition of "cheesy." Yes, there will be pool games. There will be aqua aerobics. There will be the occasional, slightly mortifying dance competition. But the better resorts often offer more. Think snorkeling trips (that Red Sea is stunning!), watersports (jet skis are incredibly tempting!), and sometimes even excursions into the desert. I once went dune bashing (seriously fun, until I got car sick – prepare for that!). Plus, there might be evening entertainment (think cheesy musical revues – embrace the absurdity!). But let's be real, sometimes the best activity is simply lounging by the pool with a book and a drink (or two...). And occasionally, hiding from the overly enthusiastic activity staff. I'm not judging, I'm just saying!
Ok, so tell me about the "secret" already! What makes this "Ultra All-Inclusive Paradise" so special?!
Alright alright, I'll spill. There isn't ONE 'secret,' more like a *collection* of things. One of the best 'secrets' I accidentally stumbled on, and I'll be honest, it *changed* my whole experience. It wasn't the location! No, it wasn't the food (though, shoutout to the falafel!). It was the *people*. Let me tell you the story of... (deep breath)... The Poolside Shuffleboard Championship of 2021. Yes, that's a thing. I'm not a shuffleboard kind of person. My competitive spirit generally tops out at "I'll eat more cookies than you," which isn't saying much. But one afternoon, after a few too many piña coladas (see above: dehydration is the enemy), I wandered over to the shuffleboard court. There were a few other guests, all with that "holiday camaraderie" look, a mix of slightly sunburnt expats and a few local families. A guy, a grumpy looking Scotsman called Angus, challenged the world. He was *amazing*. He knew all the angles, the spin, the whole shebang. He'd been holidaying in Eilat, on and off, for *decades*. Every year he'd come. Every year he'd win. Someone had to take him down. Angus, as it turned out, was also hilarious. He'd yell strategic advice (or, depending on your point of view, "abuse") at you as you played (including advice on drink selection). He was truly the life of the party. That shuffleboard court became a melting pot. We laughed, we cheered, we heckled (especially when Angus was losing, which was rare). A small group of us, a ragtag team of shuffleboard novices, actually managed to steal a game off Angus. He looked genuinely shocked. That shuffleboard court created a bubble. We all kept meeting. I met an amazing family from Germany, and we still keep in touch. I traded travel stories with a couple from Canada. It was a perfect microcosm of the things you can experience on these holidays. Yes, the food and booze are important, but the real "secret" is the unexpected connections you make. It’s the feeling that you’re *all* in it together, soaking up the sun, and maybe, just maybe, trying to beat the grumpy Scotsman. So, maybe that place, as well as the other hotels offer "Ultra-AllSearch Hotel Guide
