Hoi An Dream Villa: 3BRs, Private Pool & Kitchen! ✨
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the whirlwind that is reviewing a hotel. Forget the sterile jargon, the polished prose. This is raw, real, and hopefully, helpful. We're talking about a place – let's just call it the "Hotel Oasis" for now, yeah? – and I’m going to give you the lowdown, warts and all. Prepare for my unsolicited opinions, my genuine excitement, and the occasional brain fart. Ready? Let's go!
(Disclaimer: I’m making assumptions about the "Hotel Oasis" based on the provided list. I haven’t actually been there, so consider this a thought experiment fueled by a ton of information!)
First Impressions & Accessibility - Yay or Nay?
Right, so Hotel Oasis… First things first, accessibility. That's HUGE. We're talking about making sure everyone can enjoy their stay, regardless of ability. The fact that they’re specifically listing wheelchair accessibility is already a plus. They're thinking about it, which is fantastic. Now, the devil's in the details. Do the elevators really reach all floors? Are the ramps gentle enough? Are the bathrooms truly adapted? These are the questions I’d pester the front desk with.
The list also includes "Facilities for disabled guests." Okay, that's vague. SPECIFICALLY WHAT? I desperately hope it's not just a ramp and a pat on the back.
Crucially, we need info on on-site accessible restaurants and lounges. Because what good is a beautiful hotel if you can't eat comfortably? This is vital.
Digital Nomad Dreams & Internet Woes:
Okay, so definitely important for anyone like me who lives and breathes on the internet. "Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!" – MUSIC TO MY EARS. Especially after the last hotel where the Wi-Fi was slower than a snail in molasses. They also mention Internet Access [LAN], which is old-school, but sometimes that's the best connection you can get. Good backup to have.
Now, the real test? Wi-Fi in public areas. Because nobody wants to lurk in their room all day.
Wellness Warriors & Relaxation Rookies:
This section is where things get exciting. Things to do, ways to relax… This is usually where a hotel either shines or… falls flat.
- Body scrub, body wrap: Alright. Pampering potential.
- Fitness center, gym/fitness: Yes! Essential for not turning into a potato on vacation.
- Foot bath: Okay, a little quirky. I'm intrigued.
- Massage: Always a win.
- Pool with view: Now we're talking! Bonus points if it overlooks something stunning.
- Sauna, Spa/sauna, Steamroom: All the sweaty goodness!
- Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]: Gotta have a pool. Gotta.
Cleanliness & Safety – Because We’re Not Trying to Die Here:
This is where my anxiety spikes. 2024, people. Hygiene is EVERYTHING.
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Yes, please!
- Cashless payment service: Smart. Less germy.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Excellent!
- Doctor/nurse on call: Necessary.
- First aid kit: A must.
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere! Important.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: Crucial.
- Hygiene certification: This is key! I need proof. I NEED IT.
- Individually-wrapped food options: (Yes, for safety, and so you don't have to decide about the shared food)
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: I would hope for more, tbh.
- Professional-grade sanitizing services: Fingers crossed!
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Hmm, a little weird, but perhaps it's about choice.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Essential!
- Safe dining setup: What does this mean?
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Absolutely.
- Shared stationery removed: Smart.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Praying for this.
- Sterilizing equipment: Good to know.
(My inner germaphobe is breathing a sigh of relief… mostly.)
Food Glorious Food (and the Chaos That Can Come with That!):
Okay, let’s talk food. My weakness. My downfall.
- A la carte in restaurant: Good! Gives choices.
- Alternative meal arrangement: Dietary needs? YES!
- Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant: Double YES!
- Bar: Duh.
- Bottle of water: Essential.
- Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant: Oh god, the buffet… This is where I need to know about the cleanliness. Buffets are a petri dish waiting to happen if not managed well.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop: Caffeine is a must.
- Desserts in restaurant: Temptation. My mortal enemy.
- Happy hour: Sold.
- International cuisine in restaurant: Variety is the spice of life!
- Poolside bar: Now we're talking.
- Restaurants: How many? What kind? This is critical!
- Room service [24-hour]: Bless.
- Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant: Healthy-ish options.
- Vegetarian restaurant: Important.
- Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant: Fine, fine. Gotta have them.
(Now I'm picturing myself wandering around the buffet, battling willpower. It's a struggle, people.)
Okay, so ideally, I want a restaurant with a great view, serving delicious Asian dishes, and a poolside bar with expertly crafted cocktails. And room service that's not just sad reheated leftovers.
Services & Conveniences – The Little Things That Matter… or Don't:
- Air conditioning in public area: Essential, unless you live in the arctic.
- Audio-visual equipment for special events: Interesting.
- Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge: Standard.
- Contactless check-in/out: Excellent.
- Convenience store: Useful for snacks and forgotten essentials.
- Currency exchange: Good for international travelers.
- Daily housekeeping: Essential (though I’m always a bit awkward about it).
- Doorman: Fancy!
- Dry cleaning, Elevator: Standard.
- Essential condiments: Yes, please.
- Facilities for disabled guests: Again, specifics needed!
- Food delivery: Useful.
- Gift/souvenir shop: Tourist trap potential.
- Indoor venue for special events, Outdoor venue for special events: Weddings? Conferences?
- Invoice provided: Good.
- Ironing service: Useful.
- Laundry service: Needed.
- Luggage storage: Helpful.
- Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery: For the business travelers.
- On-site event hosting: More events!
- Projector/LED display: For presentations.
- Safety deposit boxes: Always smart.
- Seminars, Shrine: Okay, a bit of a mixed bag here.
- Smoking area: Please far away from me.
- Terrace: Lovely.
- Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center: Back to work, unfortunately.
For the Kids (and the Parents Who Need a Break!):
- Babysitting service: Crucial!
- Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: Good!
- (This list is a little scant! Perhaps a kids' club? Playgrounds? Something for the little ones to do other than destroy the hotel room.)
Getting Around and Security - Keeping You Safe (and Mobile)!
- CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property: Good. Makes me feel slightly safer.
- Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private]: Speed and privacy.
- Couple's room: Nice!
- Exterior corridor, Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour]: Standard.
- Hotel chain, Non-smoking rooms: Good.
- Pets allowed unavailablePets allowed, Proposal spot: Hmm, mixed messages there… no pets, but a proposal spot?
- Room decorations: Interesting.
- Safety/security feature, Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms, Soundproof rooms: Excellent.
- Getting around, Airport transfer, Bicycle parking: Useful.
- Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station: More useful things!
- Taxi service, Valet parking: Fancy.
**The Rooms - Where the Magic (
Escape to Paradise: Vero Beach Getaway at Red Roof Inn!
Alright, here's a gloriously messy, opinionated, and probably slightly disastrous (in the best way possible) itinerary for my stay at that Comfort House in Hoi An. Buckle up, buttercups, because this is gonna be less "smooth travel blogger" and more "slightly caffeinated chaotic energy person":
Day 1: Arrival & Immediate Panic – The Kitchen is My Enemy (But I’ll Fight it!)
- Morning (10:00 AM): Arrive at Da Nang International Airport. The air hits you like a warm, spicy hug. Disembarkation… okay, that went better than expected. Wait, where's my luggage?! (Deep breath… found it! This trip is off to a good start. Sort of.)
- 11:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Taxi to Comfort House 3Brsoutdoor pool☆Private kitchen★. The driver – a man who seemed to know every pothole in Vietnam by heart – got me there. The house? Absolutely gorgeous. The pool? Sparkling! But, and this is a BIG but, the PRIVATE KITCHEN… is staring at me. And not in a friendly way. It's an intimidating, gleaming expanse of possibilities and probably also potential culinary disasters.
- 12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Unpack, immediately change into something that screams "I'm here to relax and eat delicious food." (This translates to: yoga pants and a top with suspiciously comfortable seams.)
- 1:00 PM - 2:00 PM: Attempt to make a coffee. Fail. Utterly fail. The coffee machine gives me a look that clearly says, "You clearly haven't used me before, have you?" End up with a lukewarm, sad excuse for a caffeinated beverage. Give up and decide to find a proper coffee shop later.
- 2:00 PM - 3:00 PM: First proper glimpse of the pool, and immediately I want to live in it. The water is perfect, the sun is hot… it’s all a dream. But first, I try to figure out where the hell the pool towels are.
- 3:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Wander around Hoi An and just drink it all in. The yellow buildings! The lanterns! The sheer vibrancy! I feel like I've walked into a postcard. Get hopelessly lost down a tiny alley way. Suddenly, I find myself staring at a tailor shop. Ugh, need to pick some nice clothes.
- 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM: Dinner. Found a cute little spot by the river that looks too touristy, but whatever. Some of the most wonderful noodles I've ever had. The waiter is the sweetest thing and I may or may not have practiced about 5 words of Vietnamese with him. Feel slightly proud.
- 8:00 PM - Sleep: Back to the house, and I'm instantly distracted by the pool AGAIN! I can't help but want to swim, so I throw on my swimwear and jump in. The stars! They're incredible. I splash around like a kid, which, you know, is exactly what I am.
Day 2: The Cooking Class Catastrophe (I Didn't Burn Anything… Mostly) & The Tailor's Triumph
- Morning (9:00 AM): Wake up slightly delirious from the swimming and the cocktail from last night. Immediately make coffee. This time it's slightly better. Yay!
- 10:00 AM - 2:00 PM: Cooking class! This was on my list and I signed up for it. I'm so excited! Okay, maybe a little nervous. Turns out, I’m more of a "taste whatever someone else has cooked" type, not really the "chef" sort. The instructor is a lovely woman with the patience of a saint. I chop things a little too aggressively, make a sauce that is either brilliant or inedible (jury's still out), and almost set the rice paper rolls on fire. Okay, so maybe I did set one on fire. But I finished the cooking class, and, it's all a learning experience.
- 2:30 PM - 4:00 PM: The most necessary (and glorious) nap of my life. Post-cooking class exhaustion is real.
- 4:00 PM -6:00 PM: Head back to the tailor. I'd been dreaming of this. I get measured, flip through fabric swatches like I'm gold-digging, and make far too many ambitious clothing choices. The tailor, bless him, takes everything in stride. I end up with a suit that’s probably too fancy, but who cares?! Living my best life.
- 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM: Dinner at the market. This is where the REAL food is. So many choices. All of it delicious. I eat way too much, but I have no regrets.
- 8:00 PM - Later: Drinks at a bar with some lanterns. I think. The details are fuzzy. It may or may not have involved a karaoke attempt. (Shudders.)
Day 3: Beach Day Bliss (And Sunburns)
- Morning (9:00 AM): Ugh, sunburn. Need more sunscreen.
- 10:00 AM - 2:00 PM: Beach time! An Bang Beach is pretty close. The sand is white, the water is blue (though I'm pretty sure I see a jellyfish!), and I just want to soak it all in. Find a cute little beach bar and drink something with an umbrella in it. Completely zonked out.
- 2:00 PM - 4:00 PM: Swim, sunbathe, and generally be a lazy lump. This is what vacations are for, right?
- 4:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Head back to the house to cool off. Try to play a game. I'm not sure if it was the heat, but I ended up losing terribly at dominoes to myself.
- 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM: Dinner at the house. Decide to be brave and try to cook something (again!). The kitchen looks a little less intimidating now. I use the groceries to make a tasty meal, nothing extravagant though. I am proud of myself, this is the first meal in Vietnam that wasn't from a restaurant.
- 8:00 PM - Sleep: More pool time. Then more star-gazing. And finally, delicious sleep. Bliss.
Day 4: The Departure Lull & Reflection
- Morning (9:00 AM): Wake up, sad that it's my last day. But also, it's been amazing. I may even try to make a slightly more ambitious breakfast.
- 10:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Last stroll through Hoi An. Buy some souvenirs – probably the same amount as luggage space. It's okay, I will deal with it later.
- 12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Pack. This will be chaos.
- 1:00 PM - 3:00 PM: Try every single comfort food I’ve been too afraid to try.
- 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM: Taxi to the airport.
- 4:00 PM - Forever: Departure. I will miss it.
Quirky Observations & Emotional Reactions:
- The sheer level of scooter traffic is both terrifying and exhilarating.
- Smelling all the flowers when walking down the street is pure joy.
- Eating a lot of food has made me both a better person and a slightly wider person.
- The way the sunlight hits the water in the pool at sunset? Magical.
- I love this place. Truly, deeply, madly. And I'll be back. (Maybe next time I'll even master that kitchen.)
- I will never understand how they can keep those gorgeous lanterns in the sky.
- I need more time here!
This itinerary is less about following a strict schedule and more about the general flow of my trip. Anything can – and will – change. I'm embracing the mess, the uncertainty, and the sheer, unadulterated joy of being in Hoi An. Now, time for a nap before the next adventure… and hoping my clothes from the tailor fit!
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