Escape to Detroit: Rochester Hills' BEST Extended Stay Hotel!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the concrete jungle where dreams are made of… Rochester Hills' version, anyway! And we’re talking about Escape to Detroit, supposedly the "BEST Extended Stay Hotel." Let's see if it lives up to the hype, shall we? This is going to be less a polished brochure and more a late-night, caffeine-fueled rant.
First Impressions – The Good, The Bad, and the "Wait, What?"
Right off the bat, let’s talk Accessibility. This is HUGE for some folks (read: it should be huge for everyone). They claim to have Facilities for disabled guests, and that’s a good start. I'm not disabled, but I always appreciate a hotel making an effort. Now, how extensive are the accommodations? I didn't see a detailed breakdown, but the Elevator is a necessity. Okay, that's a win.
Getting Around: Parking, Airport, and the "Do I Even Need a Car?" Question
Car park [free of charge] and Car park [on-site] – fantastic! Parking nightmares are the worst. It's a HUGE bonus, especially if you're on a long-term stay. They also advertise Airport transfer, so if you’re flying in, that’s a relief. Taxi service is there too, and Valet parking screams "I'm ready to be spoiled." But let's be honest, sometimes I just want to park my own damn car.
The Internet: My Digital Lifeblood (and Yours, Probably)
Okay, let's get real. In this day and age, a hotel’s Wi-Fi is like air. They claim Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!. That’s a gold star right there! Internet access – wireless and Internet access – LAN and Internet services. They're covering their bases, which is good. My biggest fear is weak signal. Imagine trying to work while simultaneously cursing the slow loading speed. So, I checked it out on my tests: speed? Decent. Reliability? Mostly fine. They failed me a couple of times during the day. Sometimes, it feels they're trying to keep a 30-year old server running.
Cleanliness and Safety: ‘Cause Germs are Jerks
This is where things get interesting with the whole post-pandemic paranoia vibe…and let's admit, it's still a thing, right? Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer, Individually-wrapped food options (more on that later), Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays. THEY UNDERSTAND! They even have Safe dining setup, and Sanitized kitchen and tableware items. It screams, “We're trying!” That said, I'd appreciate the more detail on how this actually translates into the experience.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Fueling the Extended Stay
Alright, the food factor. Long stays mean you’re gonna eat someplace. Restaurants, A la carte in restaurant, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Coffee/tea in restaurant. Okay, things are looking up. Room service [24-hour] – a lifesaver on those lonely nights. My one experience? After a grueling day, I ordered fries and a burger. They were… edible. Nothing mind-blowing, but they were fries and a burger, delivered to my room. I was grateful!
There is a restaurant inside, and Coffee shop. I like this. On the downside: Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant are vague. What's on the menu, people?? They mention Vegetarian restaurant and Asian cuisine in restaurant! Now we're talking!
Ways to Relax - Or Trying To:
Here's where Escape to Detroit could really shine. Fitness center, Gym/fitness, Pool with view, Swimming pool [outdoor], Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Massage, Sauna… So many options it's like, "Okay, where do I start?" I didn't get to use all of them, but I did peep the Swimming pool [outdoor]…and it looked inviting. Cleanliness was good, it was well kept. It was no luxury pool, but it had its charm.
The Rooms: Your Temporary Kingdom
The meat and potatoes of any hotel experience. Air conditioning. Thank GOD! Air conditioning in public area – also essential. Blackout curtains. Sleep is precious! Free bottled water, Coffee/tea maker, Refrigerator – essential for those late-night snacks. Desk and Laptop workspace. Gotta have a place to semi-function. The Bed itself was…comfortable enough. Not the cloud-like luxury of a five-star, but definitely better than a hostel. And the Sofa was a bonus. The bathroom was clean, which is always a plus. Bathtub and Separate shower/bathtub - good options! There's Daily housekeeping, which is appreciated, especially on a long stay.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things that Matter
This is the "cherry on top" part of the review. They have Daily housekeeping, Dry cleaning, Ironing service, Laundry service, Concierge, Currency exchange…basically, everything you need to minimize the hassle of being away from home. Cash withdrawal is a nice touch. I especially appreciated the Convenience store. Gotta have snacks!
For the Kids: Family-Friendly? Or Just "Kid-Adjacent?"
They mention Family/child friendly, and Babysitting service. Okay, that's a start. Kids meal is also good, though not so many details here. I didn't have kids with me, but good to know in this case.
The Staff: Do They Care?
This is hard to assess fully. I saw Front desk [24-hour]. I didn't have any major problems, which is an indication that the staff is doing their thing, and doing it competently. They have Staff trained in safety protocol. Always key!
Quirky Observations and Emotional Reactions (AKA, The Stuff You Won't Find on the Brochure)
- The "Proposal Spot": Seriously? I'm picturing a sad, lonely guy in a bathrobe, desperately trying to propose to his laptop.
- "Shrine": What?! Did they have a little hidden place for worship or something?
- The mini-bar: Overpriced? Undersized? This is a must-know!
- The "Exterior corridor": Does it feel like a 70s motel, or does it give off a cozy vibe?
- The "Extra long bed": Because let's face it, some of us need it.
The Verdict: Is It Really the BEST?
Listen, "BEST" is subjective. Escape to Detroit is solid for extended stays. Is it perfect? Nah. Does it have some rough edges? Yup. Is it a place where you can relax, get some work done, and not completely lose your mind? Mostly, yes.
So, here's the deal:
Escape to Detroit: Rochester Hills’ Best Extended Stay Hotel? Maybe. Could be. Probably. Especially if:
- You prioritize convenience and practical amenities.
- You appreciate a solid, clean place to rest your head.
- You don't need all the bells and whistles of a luxury hotel.
- You're perfectly fine with some minor imperfections and a few quirks.
- You're not looking to propose to a significant other at the hotel.
My final rating: 7.5 out of 10 (with the potential for 8, if the fries and hotel staff improve!)
AND NOW… THE ALL-IMPORTANT CALL TO ACTION:
Tired of cramped hotel rooms and boring stays? Need a place to land while you work, relocate, or just… escape?
Escape to Detroit: Rochester Hills' Best Extended Stay Hotel, offers everything you need…without the drama. Imagine this:
- Spacious rooms with free Wi-Fi: Stay connected and productive.
- On-site restaurant and a 24-hour room service: Satisfy your cravings, day or night..
- Fitness center and outdoor pool: Relax and unwind after a long day.
- Convenient amenities like laundry and dry cleaning: Stay fresh without the hassle
- Great location for exploring Rochester Hills and beyond: Easy access to everything!
Book your extended stay at Escape to Detroit TODAY! And prepare for a stay that feels less like a hotel and more like a home (almost!).
Click the link below to check rates and availability!
(Link to booking page)
Escape to Avalon Stays Ooty: Your Unforgettable Indian Hill Station Adventure!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups! This is not your grandma's itinerary. This is a survival guide, a cry for help, and a potential comedy routine, all rolled into one extended stay at the Extended Stay America Suites - Detroit - Rochester Hills in Rochester Hills, MI. Let's DO THIS.
Day 1: Arrival and the Existential Dread of a Single-Serve Coffee Machine
- Afternoon (ish): Arrive at the palatial… I mean, Extended Stay America. The curb appeal screams "functional," which, honestly, is a win after a five-hour drive with three bathroom stops and a screaming toddler demanding goldfish crackers. Check-in is a breeze, or at least as breezy as one can be while simultaneously unloading the car and trying not to judge the suspicious stains on the lobby carpet.
- The Room: Okay, here we are. The kitchenette is… compact. The plastic-wrapped silverware does NOT inspire confidence. And the coffee machine? The single-serve coffee machine is the embodiment of all my life's failures. That tiny, whiny noise it makes as it brews a sad, watery excuse for coffee… It’s a metaphor, folks. A perfectly calibrated metaphor for disappointment.
- The Great Unpack: Commence the unpacking ritual. Clothes haphazardly strewn across every available surface. The "organized" suitcase is a distant, wistful memory.
- Grocery Store Gauntlet: A brave foray to the local grocery store is required. This is where the real adventure begins. Navigating fluorescent-lit aisles, fending off rogue shopping carts, and making a crucial decision: chips or cookies? (The correct answer is always both). I'm already craving a decent taco.
- Evening: Settle in. Grapple with the TV remote (because, let's face it, every remote has a secret, evil agenda). Try not to get lost in the endless loop of reality TV. Order pizza. Regret the pizza. Think about all the things I should have done differently in my life, while staring at the surprisingly aggressive painting of a vaguely floral arrangement that hangs above the bed. Is that… a hidden smiley face in the petals? Shudders Sleep. Sort of. Because hotels.
Day 2: The Day I Attempted Culture and Almost Lost My Mind (and Dignity) at the Detroit Zoo
- Morning: Wake up feeling vaguely like a crumpled piece of paper. Coffee machine still taunting me. Consider buying a real coffee maker. Maybe even a good coffee maker. Then remember the budget. Sigh. Attempt to get ready. Fail spectacularly.
- The Zoo! (Detroit Zoo): Okay, full disclosure, I LOVE zoos. Animals! Cute babies! That sweet, sweet feeling of pretending to be an educated human being. We head out to the Detroit Zoo. It's… extensive. Like, really extensive. And the Michigan summer heat is already trying to melt me.
- Animal Encounters: The lions nap. The bears do… bear things. The monkeys fling poop (it happened. I saw it. It was… educational). There's a sea otter that looks like it's judging my life choices, which, frankly, is accurate. We spend extra time at the penguin exhibit because penguins are objectively the best (and also because it's blessedly cool).
- The Food Court Fiasco: Lunch. Do not judge me, but I had the worst chili dog of my life at the zoo. It was a culinary crime. I am still traumatized. The plastic tray was more appealing than the food. The fries were, however, excellent.
- Afternoon: We wander through the butterfly house (a welcome burst of color and serenity, and a brief respite from the chaos). I accidentally knock over a display of (fake) flowers. Mortification. Quickly back away. Act as if nothing happened.
- Emotional Breakdown? It gets hot, and the kids start to whine. I consider abandoning them in the lion exhibit. Just kidding (maybe). I feel myself starting to unravel. The joy of the zoo is replaced by the overwhelming feeling of everything. Everyone. Everything.
- Evening: Back at the hotel. Food coma. The kids' whining is replaced by the incessant drone of the TV. I try to unwind, but the memory of that chili dog haunts my waking thoughts.
Day 3: Shopping and the Search for the Perfect Bagel (and My Sanity)
- Morning: Attempt the daily ritual of fighting with my coffee machine, and losing badly. Consider just staying in bed.
- Shopping Spree: Spend the morning at a local outlet mall (or something similar). The mission? Pure retail therapy! Because nothing says "I'm coping!" like buying stuff I probably don't need. Clothes are tried on. Sales! Bargains! Maybe I can finally find a shirt that flatters this… frame. The experience is invigorating. The experience is exhausting. The experience is entirely necessary sometimes to not completely lose it.
- Bagel Quest: The true mission of the day is to find a good bagel. Not one of those sad, supermarket-style, hockey puck bagels. A real bagel. I'm talking fluffy, chewy, perfect bagel. I search the Internet. I ask locals. I consider driving across state lines. It's an obsession.
- Bagel Fail? The bagel hunt is a bust. This is a tragedy. I may shed a single tear. I console myself with a donut.
- Evening: Dinner at a chain restaurant. Mediocre food. Overpriced. The waitress gave me a look that implied: "Honey, you're doing way worse than you think."
- Nighttime Rituals: Late night snack. Stare at the ceiling. Start on my next adventure: planning my escape from this Extended Stay America.
Day 4: Reflections on the Road, Pizza, and the Reality of Leaving
- Morning: The last morning. The coffee machine still makes a pathetic noise. The room is a disaster zone. But, surprisingly, I don't feel as utterly terrible as I did on day one.
- Last Ditch Efforts: Another trip to the grocery store. Buy a pizza. Pizza is always the answer.
- Packing: The Great Un-Dispersal: Packing. The unpacking ritual reversed. The struggle is real. It is worse than unpacking.
- Check-out: The awkward interaction with the front desk. I attempt to make small talk. The clerk seems genuinely grateful to see me go.
- Departure: On the road again! Looking back at the Extended Stay feels wistful. It was messy, chaotic, and imperfect. Just like me.
- Reflecting: Driving down the road, finally eating the pizza, I think to myself, "You know what? I survived." Sure, one day went off the rails, the bagels were a no-go, and that coffee machine still haunts my dreams, but you know what? I saw a lion. I may have even had a bit of fun. And that, my friends, is a victory.
- Final Thought: I need a vacation from my vacation. I'll see you all later.
This itinerary isn't perfect, just like the Extended Stay America. It's a bit messy… a bit off… and maybe a little bit crazy. But hey, at least it’s real, right?
Alkimia Hotel: Your Campo Grande Escape Awaits (Luxury Redefined)
Is Escape to Detroit actually any good? Like, *really*?
Okay, deep breath. This is where the raw truth comes out, and it's… complicated. Look, 'good' is a spectrum, right? For *extended stay*, yeah, it's pretty darn good. The rooms are decent sized, you've got a little kitchen (essential for fighting off takeout fatigue!), and there's a pool. But, and this is a HUGE but… Remember that 'best' part? Well, let's say my expectations were...adjusted. My first week, the Wi-Fi died, like, *completely*. I felt utterly stranded, like a castaway with a phone glued to my hand. But hey, at least I got to know the maintenance guy really well. He was great, a life-saver! Still, 'best'? That's a bold claim, my friend. Just... tempered!
What's the deal with the kitchenettes? Can you actually cook anything?
Ah, the kitchenettes. Bless their slightly cramped little hearts. Yes, you *can* cook! I conquered the kitchen. I saw what I could do and I did it! You get a stovetop (two burners, be patient!), a microwave (your best friend, no question), a fridge (smallish, but hey, it keeps the beer cold), and some basic utensils. Here's the secret: Plan your meals. Seriously. Because let's be honest, you’re not whipping up a Michelin-star dinner here. I once tried to make a lasagna. It ended...poorly. The oven was so…enthusiastic. But scrambled eggs? Pasta with jarred sauce? Absolute game-changers. It's a survival kitchen, not a culinary palace, but it works.
Is it noisy? I need my beauty sleep!
Noise, yeah, that's a factor. It *depends*. The location's pretty decent. However, if you are in a room near the pool, well, good luck. You'll be awoken to the sounds of children screaming. I have no problem with this, I love hearing children play, it brings joy, but it can be very noisy. The walls aren't exactly sound-proof. I’d recommend asking for a room away from the pool or the parking lot, maybe towards the back. Also, the occasional late-night party goers... you'll probably become familiar with the sounds of their merriment. Bring earplugs. Seriously.
What about the pool? Is it as relaxing as it looks in the pictures?
The pool… *sigh*. Okay, here's the truth bomb: It *can* be relaxing. Sometimes. When the sun is shining, and there aren't a million kids doing cannonballs, it's actually quite pleasant. But let's be real. It's a hotel pool. It’s small. It’s chlorine-y. And it’s usually bustling with activity. I remember one glorious afternoon… I thought I'd have a tranquil day by the pool. I brought my book, my sunscreen, everything. And then… *WHOOSH!* A rogue water balloon. Right in the face. I’m not saying it was hell, but… let’s just say my book stayed dry that day. So, go in with realistic expectations. It's not a spa, it's a hotel pool. And sometimes, that's perfectly fine.
